My buddy Carl and I went out to pick up some fried chicken for dinner when he remembered that we didn't have any lemonade at the house for the kids. So he stopped next door at the Walmart Supercenter and sent me in with $5 to get a 12-pack of Country Time Lemonade. Sounds easy, right?
I strolled down to the soda aisle looking for the bright yellow cans. I couldn't find any. I went back through at a slower pace and looked at the empty slots too. There was no Country Time Lemonade. I went to the juice aisle and found the Country Time powdered lemonade mix, but no cans. I called up Carl and told him there was no Country Time, but there was Minute Maid. He said that was fine.
I went back to the soda aisle and got the last 12-pack of Minute Maid. The box was torn on one end, but the cans appeared to be fine. It was $4.98 for a 12-pack; not on sale.
I headed up to the checkout lane and was next in line at the 10 items or less line. The lady in front of me had all of her items in the cart but was digging through her purse for change. It was taking her a long time for some reason. There was some discussion going back and forth between her and the cashier. I began looking at the tabloids to see what the Kardashian girls were up to (whoever they are). The next thing I know the lady is unloading her cart and the cashier is re-doing her transaction. The checkout lane next to me now has 5 people in it. I got out of line and looked at the self-scan lines. All were 5 people deep and not a one had less than 10 items.
Then it dawned on me. It's going to take a minimum of 10 minutes to buy a damaged box of lemonade, not the brand I want, and not on sale, while my food is getting cold out in the car. I put the 12-pack on top of the Coca-Cola case and walked towards the exit door. The Walmart employee monitoring the self-scan lanes just gave me a shrug as if to say "Sorry". I got in the car and threw the $5 towards Carl and said, "Don't ask".
I imagine Hell has a Walmart Supercenter.